Amazing Collection Inspirational Funny Quotes

Old working man

मुझे थकने नहीं देता यह जरुरत का पहाड़
मेरे बच्चे मुझे बूढ़ा होने नहीं देंगे

Hindi Funny Inspirational Quotes

एक सफल आदमी वो है जो अपनी बीवी के खर्चे से ज्यादा कमा सके . एक सफल औरत वो होती है जो ऐसा आदमी खोज सके

Hindi Funny Inspirational Quotes

अगर आपको ये लगता है कि किसी को इसकी चिंता नहीं कि आप ज़िंदा भी हैं , तो बस कार की कुछ किश्तें जमा ना करिये .

Hindi Funny Inspirational Quotes

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. 

Funny Inspirational Quotes

If you’re going through hell, keep going.Winston Churchill

Funny Inspirational Quotes

You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice. Sam Levenson

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. – Oscar Wilde

Funny Inspirational Quotes

When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration. – Robert Bresson

Funny Inspirational Quotes

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches. – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Funny Inspirational Quotes

My goal for 2015 is to accomplish the goals of 2014
which I should have done in 2013
Because I made a promise in 2012
which I planned on keeping back in 2011.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

When you fall asleep tonight, I’m gonna fart in your face.
Donnie Darko

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask,
Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
– George Carlin

Funny Inspirational Quotes

You don’t notice the air, until someone spoils it.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Don’t drink while driving – you will spill the beer.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

If you love a woman, you shouldn’t be ashamed to show her to your wife.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Life didn’t work out, but everything else is not that bad.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

I feel like Tampax – at a good place, but wrong time…

Funny Inspirational Quotes

If someone notices you with an open zipper,Answer proudly: professional habit.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

FRIDAY is my second favorite F word.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food.
I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Rupa.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

The speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

To weight 50 kilos and say that you’re fat, that is so female…

Funny Inspirational Quotes

I have been to many places but my goal is to go everywhere.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

If Mayans could predict the future, why didn’t they predict their extinction.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I’m thirsty.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a minute,
but set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

New York Times writer Amy Chozick giving an example
of what 
it was like working for a fashion magazine: “A girl got on [the elevator] with a Bikini bag, and her friend goes, ‘Oh, my God,
I love your bag; 
is that new?’ and she goes, ‘No, I got it, like, a week ago.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Does it disturb anyone else that,
The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to
The The Angels Angels…

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season.
That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Billy Corgan, the lead singer of the rock band Smashing Pumpkins,
on the perils of life as a rock star : I’ve moved on to other things.
Obviously I love rock ’n’ roll, and I love music,
but it’s nice to be in a world like professional wrestling,
where I’m treated like a normal person.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like.
Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Here’s some advice: At a job 
interview,
tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance. 
—Alcohol

Funny Inspirational Quotes

There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen. People who watch things happen and people who say – What happened…

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Whoever uses the phrase “Easy as taking candy from a baby,
Has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00.
The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!

Funny Inspirational Quotes

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep,
but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!!

Funny Inspirational Quotes

When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone As intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as
A decent answer to that ridiculous question.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ. it starts working the moment you get up in the morning And does not stop until you get into the office.Robert Frost

Funny Inspirational Quotes

The Best rest, in the rest room
The Best chase, is dream chase
The best way, is own way.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it
you might as well laugh about it now.Marie Osmond

Funny Inspirational Quotes

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Funny Inspirational Quotes

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. Sam Levenson

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.Franklin P. Jones

Funny Inspirational Quotes

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. – Woody Allen

Funny Inspirational Quotes